Your tits are I can't wait for
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
