There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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