Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You're a waste of cheezeits
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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