I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
