Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
