I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
