John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Boobs are out for the taking
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
