walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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