I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
