I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
