Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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