The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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