At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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