A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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