I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
