We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
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Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
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you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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