Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
