Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
