When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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