Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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