No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize