What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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