im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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