So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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