HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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