her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
