A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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