If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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