god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
