the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I have post one night stand depression
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
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