I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The adults are the big ones right?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
