I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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