Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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