Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.