; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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