after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
