1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
