wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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