If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
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