My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
