You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
where am i from again
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
