Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
