If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
