Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize