I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
