Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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