My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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