I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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