girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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