Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
