i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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