I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
