i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
