Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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