Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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