It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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