i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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