It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
