I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
