I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
