I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
