Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
